I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize