lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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