I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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