I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
