I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
