I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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