Can Purell be used as lube?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
