I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm sobbing to NWA
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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