I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
