You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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