so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
