she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
