Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
