Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
