She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize