I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize