I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Randomize
