walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
