But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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