This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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