So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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