someone threw a dead crab at me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
