haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
