he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize