his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
