My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
