YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
