Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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