I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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