so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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