quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
