So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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