Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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