i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
