How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
