right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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