actually, I'm a sock model
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
