Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
