what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
