I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
