I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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