I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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