You kept calling me your small dog last night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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