Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i will never coherently bang her
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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