wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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