He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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