I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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