im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
