I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
