I want to stick my p in your. b.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
