I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
