party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
