they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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