don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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