You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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