so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
