But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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