So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
