I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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