Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
