I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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