Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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