she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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