I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When are your genitals available?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
