so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
