okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
